How I met my soul mate & my recipe for meeting a soul mate!
On October 6, 1998 – on location, in Montreal, Canada. I had been cast in The Collectors, starring Casper Van Dien and Rick Fox. Per the director’s request, I came to the set a day early, to familiarize myself with the cast of characters and to introduce myself.
Casper and I coincidentally had the same agent – although our agent had not been the one to get me this job. Still, I remembered seeing a half naked poster of Casper as Tarzan every time I walked down the halls of the agency. And, I had seen him on film – when my previous boyfriend had dragged me to Starship Troopers in 1997 – it was not really my kind of film, but I left thinking that the lead actor was really cute!
Casper and Rick were goofing around, about to shoot a scene, so I observed them, in a corner of the set, unnoticed. The atmosphere on set seemed jovial and pretty relaxed. No one seemed to take themselves too seriously. I was relieved.
Little did I know that Casper had complained that I had been cast in his film. He had a point, it was odd casting. I was playing a crotch-grabbing, crass, corrupt cop – hardly type-casting!
He had already branded me “another soap opera actress.” His previous wife had been one, and he wasn’t a fan.
In spite of his less than favorable view of me, he bee-lined towards me with a big grin, and introduced himself – I was startled by how lovely his green eyes were.
The first thing out of his mouth – “Hello, welcome to the set, I’m Casper Van Dien, are you married?” Pointing to my diamond ring.
I shook my head.
He persevered, “Engaged?
I shook my head. “No”.
“Oh, then that must a f’ you ring. My sister does that – to keep the guys away!”
He asked me to join him for lunch, and asked me if I was glad to be working on the film.
I tried to be polite, “I am thrilled to be working with Sidney Furie (the director) and you, but I am somewhat disappointed that my character is so peripheral. After all, I kill your character at the end. I am the pay off, but there is no set up, no emotional investment.”
He nonchalantly blurted out, “What if my character was in love with your character?”
Then he proceeded to tell me that I looked like his girlfriend. (In fact, I looked nothing like her! ) And I was a little bummed that he had one!
I immediately discovered that he suffered from foot in mouth disease when he announced, ”I love older women!” – it took me a while to register that he might have been referring to me. It was a horrible thought! I had NEVER been referred to as an older woman before!
Oblivious as he was, he had no clue that he had triggered my first mid-life crisis – I left the set thinking he was a cocky little shit – good-looking – but definitely full of himself!
The next morning, I found a scribbled note under my door from Casper, asking me to call him immediately. He was very excited and had wanted to tell me the good news when he had wrapped last night , but he thought it would be inappropriate to call me at 11.30pm. The anticipation had kept him up all night. – I thought it was kind of adorable to admit that!
Apparently, as soon as I left the set, his casual remark about developing our characters’ relationship – had become a reality. He and Rick had gone to rehearse a scene after lunch and Sidney told them it wasn’t working. So Casper started to improvise how he had the hots for my character. He said that Sidney loved it and that this new twist had added a whole new dimension to the story, and they rewrote the entire script to accommodate this new twist. I don’t know if it improved the film, but it certainly made it more fun for both of us!
That night I had a date with another man that I really couldn’t get out of. He had flown up from LA to take me out to dinner, but I made some excuse that I had to rehearse with my co-star, and asked him to drop me off at the rendezvous that I had arranged with Casper.
Casper was waiting for me in restaurant, and happened to see the other suitor in the back of my cab.
“Did you just come from having dinner with another man?!”
“Yes!” I smiled. Busted!
He looked confused, “Well, what am I?”
Without missing a beat, I answered, “You are desert!”
Luckily for me, he thought it was hilarious!
The following evening, he took me dancing. It was only 10pm when we got to the nightclub and the club was completely empty – but we didn’t care, we danced all alone.
I haven’t a clue what made me say, “My favorite thing in the world is African drums!” Literally a minute later, ten drummers in full African regalia, lined up on the side of the dance floor and started beating their drums.
Casper looked at me, amazed. “Are you sure you’re not a witch!?”
I reminded him that he had chosen the club – there was no way that I could have organized this!
I hate to use the heavily overused term “meant to be” but there certainly seemed to be a confluence of events that seemed magical.
My Recipe ~
About 2 months before I met Casper, I invented a ritual. Every day, I would write a letter to the man of my dreams – “my beloved,” and then (I know this sounds corny!) I would write my beloved’s letter back to me. In essence, I created a dialogue between me and my beloved. You don’t have to use the word “beloved” – you could use any term of endearment – Honey, sweetie, hunk! –
I love Rumi and Khalil Gibran and find the concept of “the beloved” really beautiful. Some days, my letters were long, elaborate and poetic – some days – Hallmarky and syrupy – other days, short little love notes.
No matter what, I was consistent, and I diligently followed through with this practice daily, for almost 2 months.
If this seems really alien to you, you could look up famous love poems to get inspired.
The truth is that I was writing to myself in 2 voices- and this was probably the most consistently loving dialogue I had ever directed toward myself. I have often heard that you can only love another as much as you are capable of loving yourself – so perhaps this act of self-love helped me attract external love.
Perhaps, I created a magnetic pull through my daily writing and strengthened my intention to meet my soul mate.
Perhaps I called my beloved through time and space (that’s the type of stuff I would write – see, it’s corny!)
An added benefit was that in the letters I wrote from my love back to me, I got to script all the things I always wanted to hear from a man! And strangely enough, my husband often says things that echo my original words.
Creativity is a powerful tool to enhance, amplify and focus your intention. You can use any art form – writing, painting, sculpting, singing, dancing – to help bring love into your life.
Trust me, it’s worth a try!