Charlie Sheen – almost finding a perverse dignity in his train wreck

dance of the shadow

I immediately judged Charlie along with most of the world: He’s lost his mind, he’s clinically insane, he’s gone over to the dark side and he needs help! In fact, my masseuse suggested to a friend she and Charlie had in common that I could help him. “Erin, why did you do that?” “Because I really think you have the depth and insight to wake him up.” I thought about it. I did have some really good tools at my disposal, but I did not have a lot of confidence that I had the skill to help with what appeared to be full-blown psychosis. Well, I didn’t have to worry about finding a way to ‘fix’ him. Their mutual friend blew her off, ”Charlie thinks he’s fine, he doesn’t want anyone’s help.” We shook our heads. Misguided, drug-addicted fool! We wondered about his poor children who would never have a present father, his failed marriages, his career that was quickly emptying down the proverbial toilet bowl, what a waste.

A couple of days later, I was with a close friend of mine and she mentioned that she had just contacted Charlie to let him know that there was a clinic that could help him. I knew about Ibogaine treatment and I had a friend whose life was turned around by the process. Ibogaine is a naturally occurring psychoactive substance derived from plants that is offered to bottom of the barrel addicts for whom absolutely nothing else has worked. My friend Oran Canfield had been to countless rehabs and could not kick his heroin and crack habits. After he took Ibogaine, his compulsion never came back. Oren writes about his journey through the hell of addiction with both humor and depth in his compelling book, Long Past Stopping.

My friend showed me her texts and Charlie’s responses. It was chilling. “I have something that could help you, a short cut.”

“I don’t need your help, I don’t need anyone’s help. I’m fine. In fact, I’m great.” Then he went on a rant describing how he had an epiphany and had tasted the heart of the Prince of Darkness and he invited her to join him on his journey and that he loved her violently. “I have awakened! You have to believe me, this is about the light!” he wrote. His words sent a chill up my spine.

My friend texted him she couldn’t go with him, that it was too dangerous. She had her own run in with the dark side and the last thing she needed or wanted was to join him on his rollercoaster to hell!

But suddenly saw him in a different light, for a moment I suspended judgment. “He’s telling the truth! He’s right, this is about the light! He has made a choice and as sad as it seems to us, he has chosen to sacrifice himself to the dark side.” But ultimately, he is doing this in service of the light” I saw him as heroic in his misguided quest for redemption. He was having a love affair with the underbelly of our culture, with the Devil. He had tasted the heart of darkness. And, believe me, the heart of anything tastes like nectar. I saw him on a journey where his process of redeeming his own dark side was tied to a need to honor the dark side of life. It was through honoring all aspects of duality that he had found himself.

This does not let him off the hook for all his irresponsible and self-destructive behaviors but it allows me to see him in a larger context, in a context beyond conventional judgments and standards. It allowed me to see him a more noble light. His ‘goddesses’ are porn stars, strippers and he is placing them on an altar of respect. Everyone deserves that respect. In essence, he is raising up the outcasts of society. This is Charlie Sheen’s way of participating in the noble and holy act of redemption. Why it is deeply tragic is because of the amount of residual damage and loss and sacrifice that is involved. He has been paid millions of dollars to ‘sacrifice’ himself.

I flashed on the pagan kings of Britain, written about in the book The Mists Of Avalon, ‘the King Stags’ who fought ritual battles on behalf of their subjects. They were the willing sacrifice, so that the lives of their people would be spared. I see Charlie Sheen, in his most exalted, as a King Stag. He has chosen to go down taking with him as much darkness with him, so that we may be free to embrace more light. He believes he is providing a service to humanity.

I wish I could let him know that there was another way, a less violent way to love life. The path of light that I would invite him to follow would not sacrifice his children, his career, his health both mental and physical, or hold his life hostage.


23 thoughts on “Charlie Sheen – almost finding a perverse dignity in his train wreck

  1. Whatever path we choose, we all have the option to make that choice. This man is choosing what he feels is right for him. He likes the dark side. Many people would choose that side I’m sure and we read about their illness and their poor judgment/bad choices. They are serial killers and they are sociopaths and psychopaths who have chosen to ignore life’s moral way. Some are born this way. Perhaps Charlie Sheen was born this way and everything he has done up until this point has been false.

    But there is a great part of me that feels he has fallen so far down the depths that he can’t see the light. That substances have altered his perceptions. The money and fame have been his downfall.

    No one can make anyone “better”; we can offer, we can get the person to the best facility possible (as has been done for him) but until Charlie Sheen chooses and decides that life has more to offer…he will stay where he is.

    I seriously see someone who is crying for help, who is showing the world that he needs no one and can do whatever he pleases. Negative attention being better than no attention. My heart goes out to him.

  2. Catherine, what a wonderful insight into the world Charlie has drowned himself in! I really don’t think that there is anything or anyone that can bring him back from his darkness except himself, when and if he wants to come!

  3. Oh dear……be careful Catherine, he sounds a little scary. He is without a doubt a lost soul. Unless he wants help, it won’t work. Trust me on this one. Have a good evening…..

    Take Care,

    1. you are absolutely right. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink! – And it seems that he is not interested in getting help – at least not now.

  4. Hi Catherine,

    Thanks for your enlightened, compassionate words about Charlie Sheen. I myself am guilty of making snap judgements against Charlie. Your insights shed a different light on this most complicated, troubled individual. My thoughts and prayers go out to Charlie, as he descends into “this abyss”, that his innocent children aren’t adversely (and permanently?) affected. May he find peace…..

    Mark J. Russell

  5. Thank you Catherine for sharing your knowledge. I want to ad to it: up until 2007 before the entrance of the crystal energy, every one had to pass through suffer enable to shift. There is a collective belief – “growing to the light pass through the obstacles of darkness”.
    Lucky us we live in time that the light is more stronger then darkness, and there is no need to suffer enable to grow and shift. I hope that Charlie Sheen will find the right path to create his desired reality, with full responsibility to himself and to his children, with the assistance of the Light, out of ease, joy and fun GOOD LIGHT

  6. In the comments someone said he was born this way. Well, we were all born sinners with a free will. We can’t save Charlie, Charlie can’t save himself. Only the Lord Jesus Christ can save him. And anyone who cares about Charlie should be praying.

  7. I can see your point, Catherine. But I’m also so fearful of what the darkside captures. Charlie has become fearless. That’s how the darkside captured him. He lives in a world without boundaries. And what the darkside loves most is capturing someone like Charlie who can deceive and make what is wrong seem right. He’s been tricked into thinking what he sees is light. I’m no religious fanatic, but when something so bad feels so good, I’m convinced there has to be a force out there unlike anything that those of us with fear don’t want to experience.

  8. We are after all responsible for our own acts, even under influence of herbal substances. But friends have a moral obligation to offer help. It is clearly not wanted in this case. Sad in too many ways…

  9. I just LOVE reading your blog, Catherine! You truly ARE a shining light ~ and have a very entertaining and meaningful way to deliver messages of the heat! Many Blessings to you and I will be looking forward to your next story 🙂

  10. Brilliantly said. I like to believe we are all connected and somehow he will hear of this great extension of your kindness and respond. Maybe at first we are inclined to say no because we are not yet ready or we are afraid of self sabotage. I would also like to think that those who need this help will stumble upon this by happenstance.

  11. Wow! Great article. Great points. It is sad to watch as his story unfolds. But maybe he too can turn himself around.

  12. Poor poor Charlie. It is sad that a man who has given us so many hours of laughter, is well on his way down the path of self destruction. April’s comment above is right……we should be PRAYING for Charlie AND for the people he is hurting. And by praying I mean, to the Lord Jesus Christ. All this New Age stuff about light and crystals and astology, is not going to “save” anyone, I promise you! The devil will make anything look more attractive and interesting, in order to lead one away from the truth. Look at poor Lady Gaga who confesses that she sold her soul for fame & fortune, and has been reborn as a bride of satan. Do these people not have a clue, what awaits them. Jesus is “the way, the truth and the LIGHT”. I pray that Charlie has a devine, supernatural encounter with the holy spirit of Jesus, so that he can be saved from the demons that possess him. It’s never too late. People on earth may never forgive him for what he has done, but God certainly will. Let go of the darkness Charlie….

  13. Catherine, you are so wise. I’m really glad to have discovered your blogs — I want to sit down for an hour and read them all.

    I love that you’re willing to look at Charlie Sheen differently.

    1. hi darling Harley! I did say “almost finding a perverse dignity!” – this blog was an exercise in looking at the situation from a more archetypal perspective! – after a lot of judging!!!

  14. Catherine,
    You are truely a Warrior for the Light!!
    What a loving soul you are. Thank You for sharing with all.

  15. Charlie Sheen reminds me so much of my brother, and I am one of the only people I know when I hear about him on the news I have so much empathy for him (and his family…)
    My brother had such a bad drug addiction. I remember once he overdosed and he was in the hospital looking into space at something. He said, “there is the devil, and I’m looking right at him and he wants me dead.” Most people would just chalk it up to being high, but there was so much truth to it, bad trip or not. In the depths of the darkness after three overdoses and months in the hospital he finally chose a “blue suicide” or “death by cop” (he thought he wouldn’t go to heaven if he killed himself)- the police didn’t kill my brother, drugs did…and I definitely fear the same fate for Charlie Sheen. I don’t know him, but when someone has their life crumbling on national television it is hard not to feel something.

  16. Hi Catherine,
    my first language is Serbian and I apologize for possible grammatical mistakes I can make by writing this post. Spirituality is something what I study for many years. Result of that is my two books “Know yourself” and “Eternal secret of love”. I put them on my blog to be available to anyone who has same interest (or passion) 🙂 as me. Spiritual insight can deepen itself only trough constant circulation. In order to receive it we must give it freely and generously.

    Essence of life is consciousness. As matter and energy are two complementary opposites in physical so are feelings (intensity) and thoughts (activity of consciousness) two opposites in non physical or formless. But, this is very complex to explain it here. So, I will give some statement without explanation.

    Our consciousness consists of two main complementary opposites and they are conscious level (thoughts) and unconscious (feelings). Inside of unconscious (feelings) are also two complementary opposites (destructive and constructive feelings) what I identified as Corporal consciousness (our lower “nature”) and Spiritual consciousness (our essence).

    Corporal consciousness is subconscious level with base, wild, animal instincts or urge (something what Freud identified as ID). Spiritual consciousness is the highest constructive potential.
    Our conscious level (ego) is mediator between outside world and different levels of inner level of consciousness. If conscious level stops to interact with Spiritual or above conscious level then ego forms many illusion and errors in perception. That results with dysfunction, feeling of alienation etc. If conscious level over interacts with Corporal consciousness it can gradually over take conscious level. Then person can show sings of psychosis or delusional thinking.

    For physical dimension is characteristic constant activity or change because that is the only way to achieve development. Without diversity there is no activity, so everything in itself must have diversity. We are all capable to be destructive and constructive and that is the reason why some people are mass murderers and some are philanthropist. More we understand ourselves or way how our conscious level function more we will be able direct or govern our development. LaROCHEFOUCAULD knew that when he said: “ It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the management of them.”
    Sheen needs help, but how his conscious function at the moment, he is not able to see that.

  17. This is deep and serious stuff, Catherine, and thanks for bravely placing it all in the genuine “bigger” picture. Science is wonderful and important, but it has its limitations, and definitely does not provide all of the answers.

    As you know from experience, God’s greatest miracle is in bringing Good out of Evil.

    And as C.S. Lewis profoundly observed, in the final analysis we all end up doing God’s will. It is just a question of whether we do it as Judas, or as John the Baptist.

  18. Thomas, I hope that you will not mind my imperfect English. You gave very interesting observation. Physical dimension is active dimension of development. That what enables activity is interaction of opposites (yin-yang, good-evil, unity-diversity etc.)
    Therefore, evil and destruction also has its function in this dimension what helps to create higher understanding or good. (Essential power of universe is non physical dimension of consciousness or meaning what constantly deepens itself.)

    Intelligent beings as us are very complex because activity of they conscious level is result of complementary opposite instincts of limited, apparent understanding formed trough sensuously level as well as spiritual level. Our conscious level (what we experience as ego) is constantly force to choose between different inclination of constructiveness and destructiveness or unity (essence) and diversity (appearance) of existence.

    With it we are given choice or freedom and also responsibility for our own development. Every time when we conquer our selfish urge formed trough limited level of diversity or alienation of universal unity we progress or create balance what manifests as harmony (constructiveness) in us and outside us.

    Every time when we choose to go against universal unity (usually has voice of conscience) we regress and create disharmony what result as dysfunction and destruction in us, therefore in our interaction with our surrounding. That means that we doing God’s will when we overcome our lower nature or choose constructive inclination and vice verse.

  19. Cat, u tried to profer a helping hand. Now step away from the Sheen and let life take it’s course. The fact he was so ungracious towards your offer of help speaks volumes of both you and he. Step away knowing you did the best you could but some people just can’t be helped. Instead, spend that energy on your family. Keep urself healthy and don’t get infected by the Sheen. Step away and instead, spare a thought for his dad and mother…..Lord knows how they must feel. The day will come when he passes and you’ll wonder if you could have done more. The answer is NO…he didn’t want to be helped. U did ur best in offering help, he passed it up…so should you!

    Now, Amy Winehouse on the other hand……..

    1. No worries, I spent no more time on The Sheen then this blog! It was my friend who reached out! And another who suggested I help! I would never attempt to help an addict unless they asked and really wanted to be helped. Waste of time otherwise. I know, i was one!

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